Just when you thought he couldn’t get more obsessive, overbearing, stuck-in-the-80’s-and-90’s, less relevant, more homer-ish, ESPN’s highly paid “shark jumper“, Bill Simmons, has outdone himself yet again. In his latest tome to Boston excellence, he comparies the 1986 Celtics to the 2007-08 Patriots.
When someone first discovers Simmons, he seems clever and funny and a great read. As you read more and more of his stuff, though, the jokes get stale and you realize he’s a giant douchebag who jumped the shark 4 or 5 years ago.
- FLAW THAT HELD THEM BACK HISTORICALLY: Then why write this crap?
- DEFINING POST-VICTORY TRADITION: Um, like this matters
- DEFINING FACIAL HAIR: Again, so what? So witty, Bill.
- MOST ENDEARING TRAIT: They all eventually left Boston, angry and bitter?
- HATEABILITY: All of them, especially the home town crowds and writers like you
- HOME CROWD: Speaking of which
- QUIRKIEST WRINKLE: Dumbest section?
- UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY: Like Bill thinking he’s still funny and relevant
- EFF-YOU MENTALITY: Just look around. Everyone wants to give Bill the Eff You.
- MY DAD’S TAKE: Who really cares what your Dad thinks? I mean, c’mon ESPN. Put a cap on this!