“I keep saying the best [Yankees] player who ever happened – bigger than someone else, but I’m not going to say the name here – is Derek Jeter,” Guillen began, perched in the Sox dugout.

He merely was warming up.

“Derek Jeter has everything in his life. He’s got money. He’s got rings. He’s got” Guillen paused, because timing means everything in comedy. “He’s not married.”

Wait for the laugh.

“At the All-Star Game (where Guillen managed him in 2006), I looked around to see if he has anything I don’t like. No. He’s the perfect man. Too bad I don’t have a daughter.”

So, in other words, Ozzie, you like this Jeter guy, is that what you’re trying to say here?

“He’s the best thing ever in the game. He’s got everything he wants. He lives in New York. Even [George] Steinbrenner loves him. Nobody is better than Derek Jeter in the game. Nobody.”

I know most guys would KILL to live Jeter’s life, but isn’t it a tad bit creepy listening to an opposing manager and former player gush like this?

Maybe it’s just me.