Create one of these badboys and you will always have an invite to some great SuperBowl party. If you need further inspiration to check out this masterpiece, the recipie starts like this:

Seriously? A bacon weave? This could only end VERY WELL (if you exclude the trip to your cardiologist).

Of course, you don’t have to make this only for the Super Bowl, but too many and you get fast-tracked for a dirt nap.

The RSN turns its lonely eyes to you, Cap’n ‘Tek, thereby creating a hole in their lineup for at least 2009. At least his intangibles mirror those of Jeter. Two aging warhorses, full of fury, signifying only declining productivity.

Yawn.

Chad Jennings has a good update on the upper level Yankees pitching prospects, including one on my boy Eric Hacker. Guys profiled include: Phil Hughes, Humberto Sanchez, Ian Kennedy, Phil Coke, Alfredo Aceves and even Kei Igawa. Because I got to interview him here, Hacker’s review is below:

Eric Hacker
Right hander
25 years old
Where he’s been: Hacker is older than you might expect because he too has been hampered by injuries which cost him all of 2004 and 2006. When he’s pitched, though, Hacker has a 2.70 ERA in the minors and he was outstanding last season in Tampa and Trenton.
Where he’s going: I’ve been thinking he’ll open back in Trenton, but Hacker is on the 40-man and he’ll turn 26 before opening day, so a push to Triple-A has merit, especially if he gets in some games in big league camp and opens some eyes on the major league coaching staff.
Ticket to New York: Consistency. Health is too obvious and goes without saying. Hacker doesn’t have massive strikeout numbers, but he also doesn’t walk many guys and he gets a lot of outs on the ground. If he’s steady in Triple-A, he should earn a shot. That consistency, obviously, requires that he not go back on the disabled list.

I’ll be down in FLA right after P&C report. Eric, if you’re reading this, I’ll give you a call/email when I am down there. How’s about a tour of the ballpark/facilities?

Not quite the Chad Johnson/Ocho Cinco hubbub from this past NFL season, but it seems that Russell Martin of the Dodgers is changing the name on the back of his jersey.

As the lettering on the back of his jersey will attest this spring, it’s “J. Martin” this year, and that’s not the only change Russell Martin would like to announce.

The “J” is Martin’s way of paying tribute to his mother, as it represents her maiden name — Jeanson. Martin’s legal name is Russell Nathan Jeanson Coltrane Martin.

Now, THAT is some name. Any name that can stuff “Coltrane” in as the third middle name is a prodigious name by any definition. I wonder what his monogrammed towels look like.

Down in the same article, Martin give credit to Manny for reminding him and others to have fun while playing this game. Good advice, methinks:

“I think we all learned from him, realizing that you don’t always have to be stone-faced to be successful,” said Martin.

“This guy is smiling and having a good time, laughing it up, and he’s hitting homer after homer and driving guys in and really supporting the team and carrying the team to the postseason. It made me realize that you’re supposed to have fun in this game. If you have fun, then you enjoy it, and it’s going to be a better experience.”

Evidently the Yanks have hit their limit. No, not with regards to their payroll ceiling. Not with the amount of tax breaks they can get. Not with the number of luxury boxes sold.

Free agents, baby.

Try to follow, it’s rather confusing and esoteric, but interesting nonetheless:

Under the rules, “if there are from 39 to 62 [Type A and B] players [during a given offseason], no team can sign more than three.”
[...]
According to an unofficial list compiled by the Sports City Sports News Service, this year there were 63 Type A and Type B free agents — 29 Type As and 34 of the Type B variety. A Type A player is one who’s ranked among the top 20 percent of his group — pitcher or position player. A Type B player is among the top 40 percent. The Elias Sports Bureau does the annual independent rankings.

“If there are more than 62 such players, the club quota shall be increased accordingly,” the Basic Agreement also says.

“If there were more than 62 this year, we should have agreed on an increased quota,” [Rob Manfred, Major League Baseball's executive vice president of labor relations] said. “We did not. I think if [the Yankees] were contemplating signing another Type A player, they would’ve read the agreement and asked us what we wanted to do. They would’ve said they wanted to sign a fourth player and we would’ve had to do something with the union.”

Teams own Type A’s do not count against this quota, however.

As far as the remaining Type A free agents and what their availability means:

“It’s always been our position that if [a player] goes past the Draft, the compensation goes away,” Manfred said, adding that it has never happened.

Remaining Type A free agents: Bobby Abreu, Orlando Cabrera, Juan Cruz, Adam Dunn, Orlando Hudson, Mike Mussina (retired), Oliver Perez, Ben Sheets and Jason Varitek.

If Cabrera and Cruz and Varitek (if he declines the Sox offer today) wait until June, they can join any team without that team having to offer a first round pick as compensation. We can all agree that it’s preposterous that a middle reliever like Juan Cruz should never be saddled with a Type A designation. I can’t see any team giving up their first round pick for a middle reliever, no matter how good he is.

UPDATE (11:50am, 1/30/09): This is making me dizzy. Now it seems the Yanks haven’t come close to the quota.

10:44am: Brian Cashman told Peter Abraham the Yankees could sign up to eight Type A free agents if they wanted to.

10:05am: One reader asks a question I can’t answer: if the quota is three Type A/Bs, how were the Giants able to sign Jeremy Affeldt (B), Bob Howry (A), Randy Johnson (B), Edgar Renteria (A), and Juan Uribe (B)? Does it only apply to Type A/Bs who were offered arbitration? Is the quota three of each type?

7:45am: Just wanted to add the info from a January 6th Nick Cafardo article, where he stated that this year’s quota is nine Type A or B free agents. Everyone I’d spoken previously to believed the Yankees have not approached any quota. I know the CBA allows for more Type A/Bs to be signed if you lose them, and the Yankees lost Bobby Abreu and Mike Mussina. We attempted to tackle this in October and came away confused.

Still, Bloom talked to MLB’s executive VP of labor relations Rob Manfred for his article and it seems highly unlikely that Manfred would be wrong. – Tim Dierkes

While driving home last night, I flipped to ESPN Extra (1050 ESPN local feed via XM #141) during a commercial break from MLB on XM. I hadn’t flipped to that channel in weeks, if not longer. I just happened to since I recently modified my presets. When I did, I heard Michael Kay breathlessly tell me to stay tuned, that if I hadn’t yet heard Boomer Wells’ interview from earlier, it’d be worth staying for. I was hooked. I love me some Boomer Wells interviews. And when they rolled that interview, it was awesome. Boomer unchecked, rambling, honest. (You can check here, at the 1050ESPN site for the audio/podcast). If you can’t check out the audio, just check in to The Daily News for their take on the interview.

You’ll hear a lot about the “I’d probably just knock him out” comment, but you have to realize that he was laughing and a sense of context is really needed. His tone was one of mocking Torre and his decision to do this book (or the Dead Torre Scrolls as I call them). From the article:

Torre has been criticized for publicly calling out players in his book, something he said he’d never do when he was still managing in pinstripes. But Wells called that notion “BS” to begin with.

“Joe called guys out from time to time,” Wells said. “He always said you’ll never hear anything from him in the media or the papers, and that was BS … Joe didn’t respect a lot of people in my eyes.“

Yet more from the Dead Torre Scrolls:

The story comes courtesy of Yankee trainer Steve Donahue who told Verducci about what Roger Clemens did as part of his usual routine to get ready for facing the Mets in Game 2 of the 2000 World Series. Donahue said Clemens’ usual pregame preparation included taking a whirlpool bath at the hottest temperature possible.

he’d come out looking like a lobster,” Donahue said.

But here’s the money quote:

Then Donahue would rub the hottest possible liniment on his testicles.

he’d start snorting like a bull,” the trainer said. “That’s when he was ready to pitch.

And just when I thought I’ve heard it all…now I wish I had.

For a laugh, the old Revenge of the Nerds “Liquid Hot” scene

Just grabbing a great quote from former Yanks (and Rangers, D’Backs) manager Buck Showalter, regarding Torre’s book (emphasis mine):

“I’d have to make up my mind that for sure I wasn’t going back on the field before I ever wrote one,” Showalter said. “I have feelings about it. Obviously I haven’t done it. There’s a certain privilege to having those jobs that you have to live up to.”

Well said. That role is a privilege, an honor. What Torre did is a dishonor to his trusted role and responsibilities.

In case I need to say it again for clarity: I don’t care as much about WHAT he said. It could all be true. What bothers me is that he did this as an active manager. And that he did it TO the team that put 4 World Series rings on his hand, turning him from “Clueless Joe” into “Saint Torre”.

UPDATE (1/30/09, 11am): In Buster’s latest today, he has some good quotes from current front office staff about the Dead Torre Scrolls.

“The big question I’d have for him is: Why?” said a National League general manager. “Why would he put his name to something like that? If [Tom] Verducci writes it in his own book, that’s something different. But you have all these people getting [slammed] – and why? For money? Is it to prove a point? Does he have an axe to grind? It doesn’t make sense. I’m interested to see what he says.”

Said another GM: “We all have stories like that, about different guys. But why would he want that stuff out there, with his name attached to it? I know this: If I were playing with the Dodgers, I’d be running in the other direction, because you don’t know what he’s going to write when he puts out, The Dodgers Years.”

Whether it was his intention or not, Torre has hurt a lot of former colleagues, some of whom feel he has either been inaccurate or ungracious in his portrayals, depending on the anecdote.

The RedSox’ second largest ownership slice is selling. Get your bids ready, fellas.

Looks like the Yanks are finally fed up with the tell-all books. I guess after “Ball Four”, “The Bronx Zoo”, David Wells’ book, the Dead Torre Scrolls was the last straw.

Because I am a Munson fan, I’m happy to send you over to FackYouk to check out a nice collection of thoughts, facts and moments about Thurman Munson. Reading this still gives me the chills:

On the approach to the runway, Munson dropped the flaps, but waited too long before giving the plane more power, which resulted in the Cessna Citation I/SP coming up well short of the intended target. Munson had failed to fasten his shoulder strap, was paralyzed during the initial impact and trapped inside the cockpit when the plane finally came to a rest after rolling and sliding for over 500 feet. His flight instructor, David Hall and his friend Kenny Anderson attempted to free Munson, but the plane caught on fire and they were forced to retreat. His last
words were “Get me out of here! Please get me out!” A sad and powerless cry for help, that in no way reflected the way he lived. He was 32 years old.

Some new stuff from Tyler Kepner. Seems that Pavano was the joke IN the lockerroom as we have made of him from afar.

The Yankees should have talked to Tim Raines before signing Carl Pavano. Raines, the former Yankee who was coaching with the White Sox when Pavano signed, had played with Pavano in Montreal. During Pavano’s first Yankees season, Raines told Borzello: “He didn’t want to pitch except for the one year he was pitching for a contract. I’m telling you, he’s not going to pitch for you.”
[...]
[Comedians Billy] Crystal and Robin Williams then went into a 12-minute comedy bit, poking fun at various players before turning serious. They told the players to be grateful for the opportunity and for their health. “And there is somebody we should all pray for, because he has not been blessed with the same great health. So before you go out there, when you hit your knees, say a prayer for Carl Pavano!

The room, the authors write, erupted in laughter.

I’ll read the book and probably love it, but the fact remains that should have been shelved until Torre was done.

Buster notes that some of the remaining free agents will have to lower their expectations if they want a contract this year, including former Yankee Bobby Abreu.

Sorta makes Cashman’s decision not to offer him arbitration look good, doesn’t it? Of course, at that time, Abreu might have declined it anyways. At the time, I thought the decision not to at least offer arbitration (and get the draft pick if he declined) was a mistake as I totally underestimated the way the market for a guy like Abreu would crater. I’m not alone.

Arbitration would have landed him that $16m he wanted. Signing him now might also get him that $16m, but it would take two years to earn it rather than one.