“I don’t believe that at all,” said Lasorda, the longtime Dodgers manager. “He worked so hard. I saw him in the weight room working out all the time. Whatever (is in the book) is hearsay. I just don’t believe it. He comes from a family that’s full of good people.

“I wouldn’t comment on it if I didn’t feel strongly about it. He has too much to lose. And he’s such a nice young man. He goes to church, he’s got a nice family. I know him. I know what kind of man he is and I just don’t believe it.”

So if you’re nice, go to church and have a family full of good people, there’s NO WAY you could do PEDs? Is that so, Tommy? What say you about Pettitte? Wasn’t Chad Curtis the biggest bible-thumper for years? By all accounts, the Giambi brothers are good guys, too. And Italian!

Tommy, this sort of argument is what the stat guys have been facing with regards to the scouts for years: spare me your stories and tales and show me the data. Right now, Pearlman is putting up the data with at least one named player shining the light on Piazza.

Saying that “he worked too hard” to use PEDs is silly and beyond basic as a defense. PEDs don’t turn a bad ball player into a HOFer, but they will boost a good player into something more. You still have to hit a round ball squarely. Tommy, my suggestion for you: You can tell everyone you doubt the claims but don’t sign on as his defense attorney.

Thanks to The Common Man for the “Grandpa Simpson” idea via the comments.