The San Diego Padres: Terrible Baseball Brought to Light
The month of August, or in baseball lexicon, “The Dog Days of Summer,” is a time when a sense of conclusion begins to form in one’s life. For an elementary school student, it means days at the pool are about to end and it’s time to bust out the multiplication flashcards. For a college student like me, it means the summer internship is about finished and it’s time to go back to school and “party harder than ever before.”* And finally, for fans of horrible baseball teams, it is the time to watch awful performances as you wonder why you continue to care. There are teams like the Kansas City Royals who get torn apart by those who follow them (Posnanski, Joe; Jazayerli, Rany) quite often. Then there are other teams, such as the San Diego Padres, who seem to sneak away from criticism. Not to fear though, because I am here to explain all that is wrong with this joke of a baseball team.
*Within two weeks, one will realize that the parties are exactly the same as last year. The smart ones will accept this and will continue having fun. The foolish will keep coming up with themed parties that will eventually creep everyone out.
We’ll start with the offense. The Padres currently have an atrocious-looking team OPS of .677, the worst in baseball. However, they do play in Petco Park, meaning they are actually the fifth worst hitting team in NL, with an OPS+ of 89. Adrian Gonzalez is a great hitter, though he has only two homers in the last month. They have promising players Chase Headley and Kevin Kouzmanoff who has been below average. While one should not count them out, they are already 25 and 27 respectively, so don’t look for them to add a killer middle-of-the-order attack with Gonzalez anytime soon. The team also traded their second best hitter, Scott Hairston, to Oakland for Sean Gallagher and two prospects in Craig Italiano and Ryan Webb. This trade is quite perplexing since Hairston has been one of the bright spots on this team. Dayton Moore would be jealous of this deal (sorry, I had to).
The worst part of their lineup also is likely the worst hitter in baseball. Brian Giles currently has an OPS+ of 54! The man is currently slugging .271. I have to admit I threw up in my mouth upon seeing this. Also, Giles has never been anything special in the outfield. So to summarize, there is no use in playing Brian Giles. Thankfully, the Padres now have the promising Kyle Blanks getting most of the time in right field.
Petco Park is supposed to help pitchers. The 2009 Padres staff scoffs at such thinking, instead posting the worst ERA+ (80) in all of baseball. Jake Peavy is likely out for the year. Kevin Correia is a bad pitcher but has a decent record and a deceiving ERA of 4.34. Methinks one contending team will be stupid enough to trade for Correia and watch as he implodes on them. Unfortunately, Bill Bavasi is no longer employed, so I cannot guarantee it will be the Mariners to do so. Chad Gaudin, Josh Geer, as well as the corpse of Chris Young have all added to the atrocity of the starting rotation. The Padres recently called up top pitching prospect Mat Latos. While he likely will be a good pitcher, he is not enough to salvage such an abysmal collection of pitchers.
One decent aspect of the Padres is their bullpen. Heath Bell has been great while Ed Mujica and Luke Gregerson have been decent in the late-innings. However, Bell did lose the All Star Game, the 13th straight year the National League has failed to taste victory. So, citizens of Philadelphia and Los Angeles, if your team has to play a game seven in either Yankee Stadium or Fenway Park, you have the Padres to blame.
The 2009 San Diego Padres are a team that cannot hit nor pitch particularly well. Without much help on the way in the minors, don’t expect the Padres to compete in the NL West for quite sometime. If you are a Padres fan, I apologize for being quite critical of your team. If you’re not a Padres fan (I assume the majority), enjoy this article. You can now add the Padres as a team that makes you feel better about you own.
Of course, Mike didn’t realize my family lives in San Diego, we are vacationing this August in San Diego, San Diego Padres Assistant GM Paul DePodesta was kind enough to field questions from me…. I’ll try not to hold this against him!
