Of things baseball needs to ban, beer in the clubhouse isn't first on the list

Of all the things that MLB could seek to purge from the wide-reaching circles of the game, beer in the clubhouse doesn’t rank first on my list. I understand where Jon Paul Morosi is coming from, though:

A universal ban on alcohol in major league clubhouses is long overdue. Until every team removes beer from the working quarters of its employees, each day on the baseball schedule will include the most unsettling of possibilities that alcohol consumed in a clubhouse could contribute to injury or death on the road.

I struggle to think of a good reason why baseball clubhouses should be viewed differently than all the other workplaces where alcohol is forbidden. The NFL gets this. Roger Goodell has a simple, easy-to-remember policy: If you’re in the locker room, bus or airplane of an NFL team, you can’t drink. Period.

It’s time for Major League Baseball to do the same thing, rather than continue leaving the decision to individual teams.

This is a low-hanging fruit, in my eyes. Could it be done? Of course. Should it be done? Probably so. They don’t offer beer in my office and I’m guessing they don’t offer it in yours, unless you work for Budweiser, Coors, etc. Naturally Craig has his lawyerly take and it’s worth reading.

So let’s make a list of things we want banned from baseball (including the fan experience side of the game), shall we? In no particular order, here are a few to start us off:

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  • Ban maple bats until there’s a shatter-proof solution
  • Ban pitchers and hitters from walking around the plate/mound for interminably long time
  • Ban the umpire’s warning pitchers for merely throwing inside
  • Ban mound visits by ballplayers/catchers after the second visit
  • Ban the 4-pitch intentional walk. Just have the catcher signal to the ump and give the guy the base
  • Ban playoff games starting after 8pm EST
  • Ban pink hats, or green hats. Or red hats if your team’s colors aren’t red. Or hats that cost $59.95 and are now outdated.
  • Ban restrictions that prohibits fans from moving to better seats after the fifth inning
  • Ban non-retractible roofed stadiums
  • Ban the WBC
  • Ban the use of the ancient recording of Kate Smith singing the National Anthem; update that, will ya?
  • Ban that insipid PC Richard whistle after every K

What else would you like to ban from baseball?

 

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