- Ex-Yankee Bartolo Colon is still fat. And good. He threw 8 innings (EIGHT!) of one-run, six-strikeout ball. And do you know who he struck out in the top of the second inning? Jesus Montero!
- Montero has a .143/.143/.143 triple slash line in his first two games. Which means he has gone 1 for 7 with a single. Wait, what’s that? ESPN NY is already running a story about Montero being a bust? Next to a hundred Andrew Marchand articles demanding that Michael Pineda be sent to Single A? Someone over there is already talking about how the Yankees won the trade because they got Jose Campos?
- I think Curtis Granderson should get that Bartolo Colon/A-Rod/Kobe Bryant/witch doctor injection into his elbow (which is actually going to be fine without it). You know, just because.
- Yoenis Cespedes might hit 35 home runs this season. And he might strike out 250 times.
- Sticking with Cespedes: he’s built. I know we all saw that epic video, but when you see him in real time (and by that I mean on an iPad), he just looks so freaking strong. And he does have a nice swing. And he really can’t hit breaking pitches.
- Brandon McCarthy matched Felix Hernandez pitch for pitch in the first game. Including giving up a homer in the same inning. After the game, McCarthy tweeted this:
Let’s make a deal guys: I’ll try my super duper hardest to play well, and in return you will never ever ever update me on your fantasy team.
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) March 28, 2012
- In fairness to Mr. McCarthy, this does sound like an incredibly awkward thing to have to deal with as a professional athlete. But, you know what? I still tweeted this: “OMG BRANDON THNK U FOR THRWIN SO GUD. IM GUNA WIN MY LEAGUE NOW ” Thank you, I’m on every Tuesday at 1AM Pacific Time.
- Ichiro Suzuki has had a great series, including going 4-4 in the first game. Which is awesome. Especially because we got to hear the whole crowd roar every time one of his rollers bounced pass the A’s infield. It was like watching the World Cup all over again. Except without the vuvuzelas. So it was not like watching the World Cup. He had a pretty poor season last year, which is unfortunate because a) he’s one of my favorite players ever, and b) I drafted him in fantasy, and sent him hundreds of tweets. I wouldn’t be shocked if he had a bit of a rebound year in 2012, partially because his BABIP (.295) was more than 50 points lower in 2011 than his career average (.352).
- Dustin Ackley looked really good in the first game, then really bad in the second; Justin Smoak looked really bad in the first game, then really good in the second.
- Both teams looked really good on defense. Which was boring.
- And they are really bad at offense. Which was boring.
- In 3 years, the Mariners might be one of the better teams in baseball. As it stands now, they’re one of the worst.
So. Did any of you watch these games? If not, do you have anything to add to my unrepentantly tangent-filled non-list?