This Just In: The Yankees Still Stink

Cervelli vs TEX

I feel ya, Frankie. I really do. Courtesy of the AP

Hey, remember that shine I tried to put on the team yesterday with the posts about Ellsbury and how well the backup rotation has been doing?  Yeah, forget about all that.  I mean, don’t completely forget about them because I think they were expertly written, but forget about the idea that any of that means anything because the Yankees are terrible.  They’re a terrible baseball team.  They reminded folks like me of that last night, putting on an all-around poor display of the most basic baseball skills and completely reversing all the good they did by sweeping the Reds with a retch-inducing 4-2 loss to the Texas Rangers.

Or should I say a collection of Quad-A organizational depth and guys I’ve legitimately never heard of wearing Rangers jerseys.  Be honest with me, who really knew who Miles Mikolas, Jake Smolinski, or Rougned Odor were before last night?  I know the Yankees weren’t exactly rolling out the ’98 edition of their lineup last night either, but they weren’t rolling out a crew of dudes whose names sounded like Marvel superhero secret identities.  And they got beat by those guys.

Where to start with last night?  How about the offensive no-show against Mr. Mikolas.  He came into last night’s game with a 10.05 ERA in 3 starts.  Small sample size be damned, that’s horrendous.  The Yankee lineup should’ve punished this guy.  Excuse me, a competent Major League lineup should have punished this guy.  Instead he went 7+ innings, only put 6 guys on base, and really only had a Jacoby Ellsbury HR against him.  Unacceptable.

Or how about the defense?  Shane Greene won’t be getting invited to participate in any future Tom Emanski infomercials with the way he fielded his position last night.  He couldn’t catch the ball when he was covering first base, he couldn’t make a good throw to first on a somewhat challenging fielding play, and he couldn’t execute a simple underhand toss to first on a much simpler play.  None of those errors came back to bite him, but the free outs he gave the Rangers did unnecessarily drive up his pitch count and could have contributed to him not being able to finish the 6th inning.

Brian Roberts was equally bad, committing 2 errors in a span of 2 batters that led to the 1 Texas run in the 3rd.  The hometown scorer was nice and only gave him 1 error, but I saw the play that was ruled a hit.  A Major League second baseman should make that play all day.  And just for S’s and G’s, Derek Jeter was gracious enough to showcase his new defensive trick for this year when he pulled Kelly Johnson off the bag on a routine throw in the 7th.  Way to stay sharp on the fundamentals, Captain.

The pitching wasn’t anything special either.  Greene battled his command and gave up more than he should have to a Ranger lineup that had J.P. Arencibia hitting cleanup.  That might have been the more accurate representation of what to expect from him at this level.  Matt Thornton was brought in to get some lefty hitters out in the 6th and he got none of them out.  2 batters, 2 base hits, no outs.  Whatever, dude.  Keep cashing that paycheck.

Even Joe was misfiring last night.  He went to Adam Warren to get out of the 6th after Thornton couldn’t do the job, which Warren did with no problem because he’s actually a good pitcher.  If he was good enough and the game was important enough to use him for the final out of the 6th, why not just bring him in after you take Greene out?  Is it really that important to play the matchup game with your 5th-6th best reliever?  And while I get that it is important to make sure Brian McCann gets a rest during this next run of games, did it really need to be the 4th game after the ASB when your team was playing a night game after a day game at home and you knew you didn’t have Teix available?  Make it a little easier for Mikolas, by all means.

Sorry, gang.  I had a pretty good time watching the Brewers play pretty good baseball last night and waking up to read all the recaps and watch all the highlights of the Yankee slopfest put a really bad taste in my mouth.  I’ve been holding out this small sliver of hope over the last month or so that they’d snap out of it eventually.  It would click and they’d go on a big run and find a way to get into the playoffs this year.  I’m ready to give up on that and admit the truth after last night.  The Yankees suck.  They’re a bad baseball team, they have been for the majority of this season (even when they’ve been healthy), and they aren’t going anywhere.  Shameful.  A shameful performance by all parties involved.

P.S.- Cue all the “I told you so” comments from the comment section on this post.  Yes you did, guys.  You told me.  You were right and I was wrong.  I’ll stand up and admit that.  But don’t think I’m going to apologize for trying to hold out hope.

Born in Dover, Delaware and raised in Danbury, Connecticut, Brad now resides in Wisconsin, where he regularly goes out of his way to remind Brewers fans that their team will never be as good as the Yankees. When he’s not writing for IIATMS, he likes to spend his time incorporating “Seinfeld” quotes into everyday conversation, critiquing WWE storylines, and drinking enough beer to be good at darts.