Traditionally when keeping score at a ballgame, a person uses a scorebook or scorecard. Not me. At least I didn't yesterday afternoon, instead, I wrote the play by play of the Yankees-Rays game in a small notebook. I actually did bring a scorebook with me to the Stadium, fully intending on keeping score in the conventional way but after I had written all of my Old Timers' Day notes, I decided to keep it going during the regularly scheduled game as well. Here's a page so you can see what I did:
(I apologize for any strong language I may have written.)
Now, I won't bore you with every single page of this stuff but I wanted to share some of the more amusing quips. Plus, they weren't always about the game. Some things were about the videos they show between innings or about the music choices of the afternoon.
After the Yankees scored in the bottom of the first inning to tie the game, I wrote:
"Nova will probably give up five runs now."
Then during the top of the second, I wrote:
"Some know-it-all behind me said something silly and I want to correct him so badly."
"Hey! Nova struck someone out! It was Wil Myers!"
"Don't faint, it was a shutdown inning. Yay Nova!"
Before the start of the bottom of the second, I was a tad excited...
"THEY'RE PLAYING DURAN DURAN!!" (And yes, I sang along.)
"Zoilo made an out. That was weird."
"And I missed a good play because of people in my way. Asshats."
During the bottom of the third:
"Brett Gardner's got Southern Comfort running through his veins. He needs to change his at bat music. Or maybe not if he keeps hitting."
"Ichiro looked so bad in that at bat. Yikes."
Between innings, while watching the Yankees' players answer questions about who they prefer, Superman or Batman, Joba Chamberlain's answer of "The Incredible Hulk" made me write:
"Joba is such a jackass. Hilarious."
After the top of the fourth ended:
"Another good inning for Nova. What is this madness?!"
During the bottom of the fourth, I got a little snarky after Almonte's double:
"Nix takes one for the team. 2 on, 1 out, Adams at the plate. Hmmm. What will happen? Double play. SHOCKER!"
"There's a Rays fan in my section wearing a Fred McGriff Devil Rays jersey. Ooh, an 'old school' Rays fan. STFD."
You guys can already see what I did for the top and bottom of the fifth in the picture at the beginning of the post.
"Longoria flies out to Zoilo!"
"Damn it, Loney and Myers both singled. 1st and 3rd, one out."
"Now he's 3-0 on Kelly Johnson. Come on Nover. Don't do this."
"Great, Molina will probably hit a single. That douche."
"DP!! WOO! Although, I think Cano thought there were already two outs in the inning. Thank goodness Molina runs like he has a piano on his back and a load in his pants."
"Oh hey, the Rays have the shift on. Shocker."
"And Hafner hits into the shift. Of course he does."
"Come on Overbay. Do something. Like a hitting HR since that's the only way you'll score today."
"And he does nothing."
"Come on Zoilo! Hit a home run! Okay, fine, a double. Let's see if Nix can do anything. Yeah, okay."
"OH COME ON FOR [EXPLETIVE DELETED] SAKE."
"They need a home run, otherwise, they won't score."
Between the sixth and seventh:
"Drunk people doing the YMCA. Hilarious. Even more hilarious, when they can't spell, 'It's fun to stay at the YCMA.'"
"Escobar grounds out to lead off the seventh and Nova is still in the game. I take back the bad things I said earlier."
"Great, Nova hit both Jennings and the HP ump. Oops!"
"Ugh, they're doing the wave. Nothing good comes out of doing the wave. [expletive deleted]."
"How do you hit two batters?"
"Kelley's warm up music is somehow worse than Gardner's. Good Lord."
"Don't lose Longoria. Please."
"And he walks him, great..."
"Loney's up. Come on Boone. Be good."
"[Expletive deleted] Logan. 3-1 Tampa."
"Now Joba's in. Let's see what he'll do."
"All they needed was one out, these jackasses. Hey! A strikeout by Joba!"
"David Adams is up. Hmmm strikeout? Ground out? What will happen? He looks like he wants to strikeout. Yep."
"Gardner hit a single but I don't know why anyone is excited, it's not like anyone can drive him in."
"Joba is still in. Interesting. Hopefully he doesn't scre-- One out. Phew."
"Molina is a pain in the ass. Good thing he can't run."
"Passed ball? What the hell just happened? Why is Molina at second? Can the people in front of me stop getting up during at bats?"
"Yeah! No damage that inning. It's a miracle!"
"It would be nice if Cano could do something aside from flying out to centerfield. [Expletive deleted]."
"Hafner is up to do nothing followed by Overbay who will also do nothing."
"I hate this game."
"Beat the traffic! Clap clap clap clap clap!"
"Not that I expect the Yankees to do anything in the bottom of the ninth. I've seen this movie before, I know how it ends."
"Preston Claiborne, Esq. is in to pitch."
"Why can't Romine catch? I mean, really? He's making me miss Cervelli."
"Please please please get Loney. Keep them at 3 so there's a slight chance of a comeback. Okay, who am I kidding? That's not happening."
"IBB to Loney to face Myers? Are they insane?"
"Ground out to short on the first pitch! Shows what I know. (Nothing.)"
"Rodney's in. If the Yankees had their regulars, I'd expect more but we have Almonte, Nix, Adams and Wells. Or knowing these guys, they'll tease us by scoring one run and leaving the winning run on base to end the game."
"I hate Rays fans."
Wow, reading it back now makes me realize just how pessimistic I am but I have unfortunately sat through more losses than wins this season which is not very pleasant. Like I said in the top of the seventh, nothing good comes from doing the wave and I put the blame solely on the fans who started it. That's when everything started going south.