In the midst of his media blitz during his last first week of Spring Training, soon to be retiring Boston slugger David Ortiz said a number of things that didn't make sense. Before he said that he felt bad for guys like Jose Reyes when they are charged with domestic violence, the big, jolly Ortiz told reporters that he wanted to receive a standing ovation during his last game at Yankee Stadium on September 29.
"You know what I want most of all?'' Ortiz said. "I would love it if the fans at Yankee Stadium gave me a standing ovation.
Awwwww, that's adorable. But David, come on, man. Are you out of your damn mind?
Yankee fans don't like you. You played a huge part in one of the worst events in this franchise's history. If anything, any standing ovation you get would not be because the fans are paying tribute to you, it will be because they are rejoicing that you will no longer be seen in Yankee Stadium ever again.
The angels will sing, the people will dance, and the sun will shine as brightly as it can. David Ortiz will no longer torment us!
Hallelujah! Ding, ding, the witch is dead!
[To the Boston fans (and others) who will no doubt come here and claim I'm being mean to poor David Ortiz: Calm down. This is obvious sarcasm.]